


Safe

by orphan_account



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Angst, Apologies, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, aftermath of s5 ep12 "safe house"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:55:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24366166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "My greatest fear is seeing you in a situation like the one we faced today.  It is risk I accepted when I became a cop, but you should never have to see that part of my life."In the aftermath of the safe house ordeal, Kevin and Raymond reconcile.
Relationships: Kevin Cozner/Ray Holt
Comments: 6
Kudos: 85





	Safe

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo, just watched S5 E12: Safe House. My god, I ship these two so hard, why do I only ever ship middle-aged gay men in loving relationships? Anyway, my muse held me hostage until I wrote this...

“Kevin?”

Kevin looked up. “I was just... coming back from the bathroom,” he said. A bold-faced lie, seeing as it was three-thirty in the morning and he was currently sitting on the couch in the living room, a laptop open on the coffee table and an ice pack nestled over his right hand. As expected, Raymond zeroed in on the latter and moved to sit beside him.

“Are you still in pain? Should we go to Urgent Care?”

“I don’t believe that’s necessary,” Kevin said. He flexed his fingers and nodded at the laptop, the browser open to a medical website. “I still have full range of motion. There is no numbness or tingling, and the swelling is minimal. I performed the throat strike correctly.” The _as you taught me_ went unsaid.

“But you are still in pain,” Raymond said. He held out his hand, and the impulse was there to scoff and send him away, insist that there was no need... but the memory of their argument still hung over them both, the harsh words fresh in his memory. And even fresher still, the sight of his husband being held at gunpoint because Kevin had been careless, had purposely flouted all those ridiculous rules, only because he was _bored_. Because he hadn’t trusted Raymond to take care of him.

He let Raymond take his hand, watched him cradle it carefully in his lap as he removed the ice pack and studied his bruised knuckles, the bandage covering a tiny cut on his finger. Kevin’s hand was cold and damp from the ice, but Raymond didn’t shy from it. There must be something appropriately poetic there about how Raymond never shied from anything, whether it was a physical discomfort or a metaphorical threat, but Kevin was too shaken to parse it out.

Suffice to say, his husband was brave. The bravest man Kevin had ever known. And he had an awful habit of forgetting that when it mattered most.

“Raymond,” Kevin said, drawing himself up. “If you would let me, I would like to extend my deepest apologies...”

“Accepted. All is forgiven.”

Now, Kevin _did_ scoff. “Will you at least let me finish the apology first?”

“There is no need,” Raymond said, still infuriatingly focused on Kevin’s hand. “I forgive you.”

“For not listening to your instructions and leaving the safe house...”

“Yes.”

“For entering a dangerous situation, despite being a civilian, and provoking a criminal to attack me...”

“Yes, and we are _definitely_ going to talk about that later. Peralta was a terrible influence on you.”

“...for threatening you with the end of our marriage if you did not cede to my unreasonable demands.”

A pause. Barely noticeable for most, but to Kevin, it lasted centuries. “You spoke those words in anger,” Raymond said at last. “You lashed out, with the only weapon you had at the time. I do not blame you for that.”

"It does not excuse what I said,” Kevin said earnestly. He looked at Raymond, wrapped up in his favorite robe and wearing the Corgi-shaped slippers that his squad had bought him as a joke. Anyone who looked at him now would never guess that he was a police captain, that he had a very long career of putting the most heinous of criminals behind bars. Every morning when they kissed and wished each other a good day, Kevin rarely dwelled on the very real possibility that Raymond might not come back. He had a sinking feeling that was not the first time his husband had been held at gunpoint, and it was also unlikely to the the last. Their mutual ban on work anecdotes at home had probably saved him years of worry.

“Kevin,” Raymond said, so tenderly that it nearly undid him. He had to blink several times and compose himself as Raymond squeezed his hand. “You had every right to be frustrated with the situation. I will not say that I overreacted. If anything, I should have had you flown to Nevada and locked in an underground bunker...”

Kevin's lips twitched.

“But I understand. I was in a similar situation once, remember? I only lasted six months in witness protection before I let Peralta talk me into some very questionable acts. You lasted a whole fifty-nine days longer than I expected.”

A snort this time. “Good _God_ , Raymond, I’m trying to be serious, and all you can do is make joke after joke...”

“Humor is how I cope with unimaginable terror,” Raymond deadpanned, and Kevin had to smother a fit of laughter in his palm. “Now, if you are done being hysterical, will you come back to bed?”

Kevin nodded and let Raymond pull him to his feet. The laptop was shut off, and they brought the ice pack with them back to their bedroom. Cheddar raised his head and panted at them happily, then instantly jumped up when Raymond snapped his fingers. Kevin openly gaped as he watched Raymond give their dog a boost up onto the mattress, in open defiance of all the rules they had established about pets on the furniture.

“We both need the company tonight,” Raymond said, by way of explanation.

Kevin sighed. “You’ll be responsible for retraining him.”

Raymond accepted that with hardly more than a nod as they settled in their preferred positions, Raymond flat on his back and Kevin facing him, curled up on his side. Cheddar’s presence was an unfamiliar, but reassuring weight flopped on his ankles. He hoped the blankets didn’t smell like dog hair tomorrow.

Kevin watched Raymond’s profile in the dark for a long moment, almost bursting inside with everything he wanted to say and didn’t know how to express eloquently. Raymond deserved eloquence and articulation, and a partner who would strive to give him both on a daily basis. In the absence of that, Kevin had to resort to simple facts.

“I love you, Raymond Holt. I love our marriage and our life together. The thought of being separated from you, whether by death or divorce, is unbearable to me.”

Raymond said nothing at first, his chest rising and falling in a deep breath. “My greatest fear is seeing you in a situation like the one we faced today,” he confessed. “It is a risk I accepted when I became a cop, but you should never have to see that part of my life. Your safety matters more to me than _anything_ else. Sometimes I worry that makes me a terrible husband. If you left me tomorrow, because you did not want to face the danger, I think there is a part of me that would understand.”

Kevin reached between them and took his hand again. “Why would I ever leave? The safest place for me is with you.”

Nothing more was said that night. But they didn’t let go of each other’s hands, not until long after the sun rose.


End file.
